For A While

For a while I couldn't dream, it was like

a sad part of myself killed the dreaming

I would sleep like a stone hitting the bottom of a pond

The murky middle alone with me

The time of death, of dying surrounded

And the days before, when what you were talked to me

I remember more about the times you weren't there

I thought God must be like this, all powerful

Though you weren't really

Only flesh and bone, my father

In your dying I sprang forward

Growing into my true self

When I did dream, I was on an island

An otherworldly glow filtered through

And a field of daisies danced high in the wind

I saw a freighter passing and knew

It was you

Going on into the light

And when I woke, my heart ached

to be back there with

the green hills, the hallelujah light

instead of where I could not touch your skin

Because I saw,

I saw it before you became ashes

They said it there, that a member of the family had to view

I said yes - you looked so still

I had no fear of saying the wrong thing

You were not there anymore

 Muzaffer Mehmet ErSelcuk