For a while I couldn't dream, it was like
a sad part of myself killed the dreaming
I would sleep like a stone hitting the bottom of a pond
The murky middle alone with me
The time of death, of dying surrounded
And the days before, when what you were talked to me
I remember more about the times you weren't there
I thought God must be like this, all powerful
Though you weren't really
Only flesh and bone, my father
In your dying I sprang forward
Growing into my true self
When I did dream, I was on an island
An otherworldly glow filtered through
And a field of daisies danced high in the wind
I saw a freighter passing and knew
It was you
Going on into the light
And when I woke, my heart ached
to be back there with
the green hills, the hallelujah light
instead of where I could not touch your skin
Because I saw,
I saw it before you became ashes
They said it there, that a member of the family had to view
I said yes - you looked so still
I had no fear of saying the wrong thing
You were not there anymore
Muzaffer Mehmet ErSelcuk
