She Is Dead

What is this bullshit
That you have to suffer
To create
I'm level - flat like ribbons
stamp my feet
My eyes turn pink
lashes pale
Skin solid gone
ribbed ugly
I know they think I'm pretty and
I do
Sometimes
You're a model right
Then that man breathing into
my shoulder sighed
Talked about the weather
Hot Hot
No underwear, huh?
he said
And I could have
Punched him
Would have but
the door to the
Hardware store
got in the way
And I needed to fix that light
For the neighbors
no, guests
I don't remember the light
It went out when I needed it
Then all the people came
I could not talk though
How stupid, how stupid you sound
Don't talk
No-one hears you anyway
And then the vibration
Takes over
The train to
Con-nect-ti-cut
Power Ball Lotto
Blah blah million
Who are these have-nots
Still I'm quiet
200 down
Tickets lost
One chance in 160 million
180 million
My sister would know
She's the math whiz
I'm just trying to be
True
Don't you know
It's simple
2500 + 495 is
Three thousand
(well not exactly)
I say wait a minute
He says its simple
I say wait
Sigh, humph, dummy
I look at the lines
of numbers and math
Dancing sticks and stones don't break
Any bones
In my head
If I had a calculator
If I had a brain
I could...
Oh, they're all watching
You'll win the prize
You'll win
Blah blah millions
Fame, fortune, love, home
Dog, garden, warm at night, favorite perfume and pedicures
My credits bad for 7 years
They all hate you
The credit card companies all
lower your limit
And screw up your account on purpose
And then you're moving again
and there's no house, no dog, no references
from the landlord
What do you do in the city?
I shoot people like you who ask me
That question
I become someone else
Who's smart and funny and stupid and vain and tedious
That's why I stopped
And shut up
Do the math
Do the math
It doesn't equate
Sniffling
I cry
I die in my mind
Different ways
Like stepping in front
of a car
Or walking in a dangerous neighborhood
Late, late at night
But mostly I
just explode

The Key

You whispered through the wind to me / I don't need children / The children of the earth are my children / Come into my heart the song said / And you did / Flower petals rose to greet you /
And you walked my walk / And you talked my talk / Felt the breeze and saw beauty / as I did / Every step I took rebounded with you / Every touch / Every neuron / blood vessel / vein / My eyes were your eyes / the wind in my face was your wind / every particle of my being met yours / After all / we are all connected / We share this space / this time / our choice / this planet / You said you wanted to be like this / And I knew it before the horns and trumpets played us out / on a Mardi Gras mist / that you were the key

 

Palm Springs Song

Dry/the desert heat/shimmered toward the sky/a prism of madness/that everything should be ok/as music was dying/turbines stood at attention/like soldiers/never knew there was so much wind/in the desert/it blows through my mind/And I think Elvis swam here/in this house/with all the angles/sharp against a voluptuous mountain/I sat stoned/heat drying my brain/reading about how I should be/how I should proceed in this life/always a problem/for a Libra/who can't hear the song/of her heart

The Space Between

I start gathering / deaths / like a bouquet / of roses / daisies / like thorns / or sunshine / bless the minutes / the space between / what happened / and what was / pictures reflecting / lamplight / flashlight / the flash / of a soul / smiles in print / forever / or until the earth burns out / its mighty light / we are each other's keepers / and memories are the flame / that flickers / through the night / be my friend / and love me / as I have loved you / honor me / with your life / because ours is fleeting / and we are / but a dot / on the map / of time

None Nearer to Me Than You

 

When I first arrived

You sniffed the air like

An animal at hunt

Closing in on me

Your eyes caught a look

Of recognition of

Some time past, some

Unexplainable sadness

And desire

A strength full of centuries

Turned to dust.

Then later after a while

We knew each other's words

And laughed like children

Who know the Truth

In life is free

Happiness bloomed with the spring

Everything innocent and fresh

Jacaranda came into being

Purple as always a mess

Left a stain on the sidewalk

And I realized a stain

Remained of the past.

So

Trying to avoid karma, and lessons

And all that

I slid into nothingness, just happy to ride straight as an arrow telling the truth as

I saw it

 

Lie Still

Lie still

And love me,

Not in the way that you were taught

Or in the way that it used to be,

But in the way you need air to breathe.

Love me like a breath of fresh air,

Like a ray of light,

Like a mother's stare

Upon her newborn babe

Love me in the sea,

In the grass with the bugs and insects

Waiting for our picnic

Love me, oh do.

Now, there, forever!

Last like nothing has.

 

Andrew Wyeth, Turkey Pond 1944 

Hide & Seek

 

I can't run

I can't take my eyes

off of you

I fling my arm against

The wall - broken

In anger

If I could only do

The things you do

To me

To you

You wouldn't find yourself

Staring at me so

With all the others around

I don't care

I don't care if they

See me

I don't care if I'm knocked to the ground

Pounded into a wall

Looking at you

I could die that way

I probably should

I'd make an effort

I'd have tried

To get your attention

But you'd have to

With all the hide and seek

Make the next move